Some days at work, everything sucks for everyone. We can tell when we have those days because Keith comes over to the cubicles to see me, Richard, and Todd, and he says, "Today sucks. We need a win. Does anybody have a win?"
At that point, the size of the win doesn't matter: we could have had a support call that went abnormally well, or maybe we figured out a solution to why a textbox wasn't posting back correctly. Even something small counts and helps lift our spirits, probably more than it should. On the occasion that we don't have any sort of win (and no, getting out of bed or waking up alive don't count, though sometimes they should...), we take solace in the fact that everybody's day has sucked, so we share our biggest frustrations in as humorous a way as possible and all laugh at each other's (and our own) misery.
I've started using this practice in my personal life, too. Whenever I'm feeling particularly down, or feel like everything sucks, I try to think of a win I had that day. Maybe a friend texted me just to see how I was doing or to invite me to do something fun. Maybe I caught every green light on my way home from work. Either way, I've started focusing more on the wins, however small, than the losses, however big, every day. This is kind of a new perspective for me; I've always tended a bit more toward the pessimistic side of things, so the whole positive outlook thing felt foreign at best and silly at worst.
Aside from the small wins (like how there was very little traffic on the way home and I caught all but 3 green lights), I've also had a few bigger wins in the last few weeks that have kind of helped me keep that positive mindset more constant:
1. If you're a friend of mine on Facebook, you will have noticed how, for the last few weeks, I've been using the Couch 2 5K (C25K) app to help me get into shape. For a little more backstory, on that: Richard and I have been talking for a few months about getting back into shape, working out, etc. That joker decided we should each make up a short list of fitness goals and share them with each other so we can hold each other accountable in working towards them. My goals are to be able to do chin-ups and pull-ups with minimal effort (a subjective measure) by August 31, run a 4 mile race by Thanksgiving (Turkey Trot), and to look like Captain America by June 1, 2017. So I've been working out a bit towards the goal of the chin-ups, and I've been running at least 3 times each week for the past 5 weeks (I had to do Week 1 of C25K twice). Every time I finish a run (especially the first day of each week's regimen) is a big win for me because it's a step towards several goals.
2. Also, if you're a friend of mine on Facebook, you will have noticed that I've now fostering a beautiful pit mix named Eva since July 19. She runs part of my C25K with me each day, as well as going on walks with me on off-days. When I'm home, she's my constant companion (except for when she sneaks away to eat food off the counter or pee on the floor or both). She's a sweet girl, and has helped get rid of the loneliness I was feeling most nights at home. I'm hoping to adopt her soon, so we'll see how that goes. Either way, though, the joy and companionship she's brought me since my last dogs left have been wonderful, and that has been a major win for me. She seems to enjoy the house better than the shelter, too, so I think it's a win for her as well.
3. Since May, I've been thinking of asking a particular girl out. She's smart, she's cool, she's cute, she loves animals, she's funny... that's a pretty intimidating combination. A few weeks ago, I finally made up my mind that I was going to ask, then spent two weeks analyzing, reanalyzing, overanalyzing, and psyching myself out. I convinced myself countless times not to do it, then countless times that I should. And I finally did. And she said yes, which actually surprised me. I was expecting more of the "Awww... that's so sweet!" like when a small child gives you a handful of grass for a present. But she didn't, and since I asked her Sunday, I've been analyzing, reanalyzing, overanalyzing, and psyching myself out about whatever step comes next, so at least that part of my personality hasn't changed... But this event was a few major wins for me: I took a step forward, I took a chance, and it worked out well. With any luck (and me behaving like a civilized human being, which is no small feat), this will lead to more wins down the line.
4. I've been opening up more to my friends and family. I like to stay private and still keep many, many things private, but I'm learning to be more vulnerable to the people I trust and care about. I share my wins and losses with them and either listen to what they have to say or accept their sympathies (which is even more difficult). I'm not sure how long I'll be doing this, but it seems to be going okay for now. I'd have to ask the people with whom I've been sharing whether I'm over-sharing and need to lay off some. But, hey! A win's a win, and this is a win.
So I'm going to keep on trucking and looking for wins wherever they may come. If you ever see me down, ask me if I've had any wins that day. I'll try to think of something!
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